I can't believe it has been two years since my last blog post. So much has happened in two years. 

• I left a company after 10 years, with no job lined up - both scary and a relief
• I worked on my mental health - also scary but absolutely necessary
• I found an amazing guy - we have ups and downs but it's worth it
• I started grad school - not easy at all, with everything going on
• Like you, I'm living through a pandemic and societal distress

Life does not stop. It is in constant motion. It is a perpetual forward force.

I have always been attracted to the future. I plan. I dream. I scheme. I imagine. I LIVE for the future; sometimes I live IN the future. But, these past two years have taught me that we are rarely, fully prepared for what life can bring us. Hell, we are rarely half-way prepared for what life brings us!

What the past two years has taught me is that it is ok to just be. 

It is ok to be still. 
It is ok to be sad. 
It is ok to be happy.
It is ok to be silly. 
It is ok to be sober. 
It is ok to not know.
It is ok to not care.
It is ok to be. 

My priorities have changed in the past two years. I still have dreams of inspiring the masses and sharing my voice with as many people as I can, but even if I inspire a few people and my voice is heard by only a couple, I'll be happy. As long as I am living and applying my efforts towards my dreams and making the people closest to me feel valued and loved, I'm living my best life. 

I don't want miss opportunities to experience today because I'm stuck in the future. I want to have goals. I want to have projects I'm working on. I want to things to look forward to. But I don't want to be so focused on those things, that I miss what's right in front of me - that miss my opportunity to just be. 

​A friend of mine shared a beautiful word with me today:

Vacilando (v); to travel with the knowledge that the journey is more important than reaching a destination.

The word is actually of Spanish origin, serving as the present participle to the verb vacilar, meaning “to hesitate.”

With humility, I admit that I have seldom enjoyed the journey I have been blessed with. My go-getter gumption has kept me working long hours, missing unrepeatable moments of my life and the lives of those around me. My ambitious attitude has left me wired and stressed, missing fine details of foundational lessons. My damned drive has pushed me to move from one task to the next, missing opportunities to build precious memories with amazing people (including my loved ones).

Reflecting on how much I have allowed my life to pass me by on account of goals is sobering. Yes, I am proud of what I have accomplished, but I feel like I missed chunks of my life. You see, once a moment passes, it’s gone. We can’t go back. We can’t relive it. Gone.

My sister recently helped me move from Texas to Missouri – HUGE undertaking. During this time, we talked a lot. She shared in my excitement about the move and explored the city with wide eyed wonder, just as I was. During one of our outings, we began reminiscing. She shared with me how much I hurt her a few years back.

“Me? I hurt you!?” I asked.

Then she proceeded to tell me how, like it happened yesterday.

You see, my sister volunteered to work with the Peace Corps after graduating college. She was soooo excited. This was the first time in her life that she was going to be traveling to another continent. Her heart was so happy. Where was big sister during this moment? Working long hours, being cranky and rude to everyone in my path. I had no idea.

I was so focused on my destination – getting promoted – that experiencing the journey of sisterhood was pushed aside; and my sister left to another continent, without feeing supported by someone who should have been her biggest fan.

I have afforded myself grace. But it is still cruddy looking back at that moment.

#Hustle #Grind #GetItIn #LIFEISSHORT

Obsession with success is nothing new, however, it is easier to hustle hard and go grind on a project today compared to a decade ago. Technology keeps us connected so that we can. But at what cost? Missing your best friend’s wedding? Straining your marriage? Forgetting your children grow up fast? Tearing down your body? Living but not really? Is it worth it?

If life has taught us nothing else in recent years, it is that tomorrow is not promised. Intense focus has its place for sure, but learn how to turn it off. Take every chance you have been given and enjoy your journey. Slow down enough so that you can smell fresh cut grass or feel the wind kiss your skin. Stop for a moment and listen to the laughter of children playing or the leaves rustling. Take a vacation to nowhere and explore without an itinerary (you won’t regret it).

I still have big dreams. I still have big goals. But I am learning to let myself enjoy each moment leading up to attaining those goals and enjoy each day I am blessed to be breathing until I meet those goals.

Here’s to enjoying your journey. Cheers!