A friend of mine shared a beautiful word with me today:
Vacilando (v); to travel with the knowledge that the journey is more important than reaching a destination.
The word is actually of Spanish origin, serving as the present participle to the verb vacilar, meaning “to hesitate.”
With humility, I admit that I have seldom enjoyed the journey I have been blessed with. My go-getter gumption has kept me working long hours, missing unrepeatable moments of my life and the lives of those around me. My ambitious attitude has left me wired and stressed, missing fine details of foundational lessons. My damned drive has pushed me to move from one task to the next, missing opportunities to build precious memories with amazing people (including my loved ones).
Reflecting on how much I have allowed my life to pass me by on account of goals is sobering. Yes, I am proud of what I have accomplished, but I feel like I missed chunks of my life. You see, once a moment passes, it’s gone. We can’t go back. We can’t relive it. Gone.
My sister recently helped me move from Texas to Missouri – HUGE undertaking. During this time, we talked a lot. She shared in my excitement about the move and explored the city with wide eyed wonder, just as I was. During one of our outings, we began reminiscing. She shared with me how much I hurt her a few years back.
“Me? I hurt you!?” I asked.
Then she proceeded to tell me how, like it happened yesterday.
You see, my sister volunteered to work with the Peace Corps after graduating college. She was soooo excited. This was the first time in her life that she was going to be traveling to another continent. Her heart was so happy. Where was big sister during this moment? Working long hours, being cranky and rude to everyone in my path. I had no idea.
I was so focused on my destination – getting promoted – that experiencing the journey of sisterhood was pushed aside; and my sister left to another continent, without feeing supported by someone who should have been her biggest fan.
I have afforded myself grace. But it is still cruddy looking back at that moment.
#Hustle #Grind #GetItIn #LIFEISSHORT
Obsession with success is nothing new, however, it is easier to hustle hard and go grind on a project today compared to a decade ago. Technology keeps us connected so that we can. But at what cost? Missing your best friend’s wedding? Straining your marriage? Forgetting your children grow up fast? Tearing down your body? Living but not really? Is it worth it?
If life has taught us nothing else in recent years, it is that tomorrow is not promised. Intense focus has its place for sure, but learn how to turn it off. Take every chance you have been given and enjoy your journey. Slow down enough so that you can smell fresh cut grass or feel the wind kiss your skin. Stop for a moment and listen to the laughter of children playing or the leaves rustling. Take a vacation to nowhere and explore without an itinerary (you won’t regret it).
I still have big dreams. I still have big goals. But I am learning to let myself enjoy each moment leading up to attaining those goals and enjoy each day I am blessed to be breathing until I meet those goals.
Here’s to enjoying your journey. Cheers!
Business and compassion are NOT mutually exclusive. In fact, the most successful people I know have compassion. Before we get too far, yes, I am using the word compassion. Not empathy. Compassion.
Let’s take a look at the two words:
Compassion: Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others
Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of another
Empathy expresses understanding and sharing of feelings; compassion shows concern.
Empathy matters because it affords us a way to connect to our fellow human beings. Empathy is literally putting ourselves in the shoes of others so that we understand what they are experiencing. In truth, empathy is a precursor to compassion. We cannot have compassion without first understanding what we are concerned for.
So why does compassion matter in business?
Because we are human and humans are designed to connect.
My youngest son recently had a very bad fall that resulted in a concussion. The side effects were impaired vision, dizziness, severe headaches, sensitivity to light, sensitivity to sound and vomiting. Thankfully the doctors did not detect anything more than a concussion, but a concussion alone is still something very serious.
In pure, modern form, I shared this with my social media friends (Facebook to be exact). The outpour of love was wonderful. Friends offered prayer. Some offered to help me if I needed anything. Others offered kind words of support. Compassion poured out of my cell phone screen, into my heart, mind, body and soul. I felt surrounded by love. The fear I had dissipated. I felt strong because of the compassion shown towards me and my son.
In stark contrast was an interaction I had with a business associate. We were closing a joint project when this happened. Although I expressed what I was going through personally, the associate acted as though I said nothing. A simple, “I hope he is ok” was all they texted me, followed by straight-laced business talk. Via email, they made a request for my portion of the project we were working, but failed to ask about my child. Unfortunately, my child had an episode at school that required me to arrange to have him picked up. Though I shared this with my associate I received radio silence.
Considering our working proximity, it would go to figure that my associate would have at least shown empathy. But they did not. And because they failed to express empathy, they failed to express compassion. And because they failed to express compassion, I have ended our business relationship.
If my associate were to have expressed even a little bit of concern for my son, I would not have felt dismissed and unvalued. Neither of these emotions are favorable for an effective work environment.
Empathy and compassion go a long way when interacting with people. People crave belonging and to be understood. Both empathy and compassion fulfill those needs.
In business, if you want repeat customers, dedicated employees or die hard fans, you cannot compromise compassion.
Is there a cap on compassion? Certainly. A business must still function, however a drop of compassion goes a long way. Just like adding water to the last few drops of liquid hand soap gives us more use, adding a few drops of compassion give leaders more clout.
Expressing compassion doesn’t have to be a daunting or laborious task. Here are a few simple expressions of compassion:
1. Send a Text: A few friends (not even my closes) sent me text messages just to make sure I was ok. Two minutes out of their day put them in a different light amongst my friends. They took time to check on me and my child – that is significant in the age of busy-ness.
2. Reorganize Your Message: This is a small thing but goes a long way. Instead of putting expressions of concern at the close of your message, put them at the top. This let’s the reader know that you care about them as a person, not just the task at hand. End your message with one sentence to reiterate, “I care about you and your situation.”
3. Give Someone Time: If someone is going through a difficult situation, GIVE THEM TIME! Extend the deadline. Let them take a day off without logging it. Move someone else to the project. Show compassion towards what they are going through and give them time to tend to it. You will have a more dedicated and engaged employee afterwards.
4. Pray: It is amazing what the simple six words, “I’ll keep you in my prayers” can do for someone. Even a person who practices no religion, finds comfort in those words during challenging times. If you know the person is a praying person, stop what you are doing and pray with them in the moment. Stand in the gap.
5. Ask How You Can Help: There might not be anything you can do, but the simple fact that you ask goes a long way. Sometimes people just need to feel propped up by the idea that they are not alone in their situation. Provide them the prop. Offer them support.
6. Listen: If an employee calls into work because they are going through something serious, listen to them. If a friend rants in a text, listen to them. When they are done. Let them know that you heard them and you are there for them if they need.
Compassion doesn’t cost anything. It might require strategic thinking to get a task done, but a good leader embraces those types of challenges.
Don’t burn bridges by failing to show compassion when it matters. Be a wise leader – learn how to be empathetic to cover your bases, then master the art of compassion to dominate the field.